Assault & Battery of a high and aggravated nature.

I was assaulted last night while at a patient's house. Now, I have been bitten, hit, kicked, spit on, vomited on, urinated on, etc. But, I have never been assaulted like I was last night!!! I cactus attacked me! It was the weirdest thing in the world. There we were, trying to load up a patient on the stretcher in the front yard, and a cactus came out of nowhere and planted itself right behind me. Luckily, it was only knee high so I was able to sit for the remainder of the evening. Now, does anyone know how to get cactus-prickley's out of one's skin?? I have a few left...:-(